In person in OKC. Online across Oklahoma.
EMDR Intensives in OKC
For women whose anger has gotten so big it scares them, and know they are terrified to examine what’s underneath.
You can't catch a full breath.
There's this inner knowing that you can't quite touch. Your marriage has been on the rocks for some time, and yet you've coasted, as that's "just what you do when you've spent this many years together."
The fights that seem to go on and on. Even when the situation is always a little different, it still ends up being the same.
"You don't listen to me." "How could you speak to me like that?" "Why would you make such a huge decision without me?"
Before you know it, you're crying in the shower at 3 AM so the kids don't wake up. He stormed out of the house because "he couldn't stand the sight of you a moment longer."
You get it, or at least try to. But you are so exhausted from having the same cycle repeat itself over and over again.
"What is wrong with me?"
"Why do I bring this out of him?"
"Why do I take it?"
Because you don't know what to do.
Which leads to more hurt, confusion, disappointment, and the thing that you are most afraid to name: rage.
And not in a scary, "I'm going to burn the house down" kind of way.
More like something that didn't show on the surface for many years, but built and built and built, until it took away the pieces of yourself you're afraid won't ever return.
And still....you stay. Because you don't know what to do.
You've been downplaying your feelings for so long, you forgot what you actually feel.
You manage things, it's just what you do. Why should managing your partner be any different? Asking him for help would require more energy than just 'doing it yourself.'
But still, the resentment is starting to eat at you: just. a. tiny. bit.
Let's be real: it's starting to feel as if you have 3 children.
Your son. Your daughter. Your husband.
And all the while, you're telling yourself: "it's going to get better. It can't get much worse."
But then it does, and you still don't know what to do.
So you avoid, you minimize, and when you have finally reached your breaking point, you lash out.
And then the cycle repeats. Again, and again, and again.
When will you decide that enough is fucking enough?
Couples Therapy Hasn't Helped
You had to drag him into a couples therapist's office kicking and screaming. You used all the arsenal you had at your disposal.
"I'm going to file for divorce if you don't go. I'm serious."
"Why am I the only one fighting for this marriage?"
"Do you want the kids growing up thinking this is normal?"
So he went, under protest. Your therapist has been helpful, supportive, called both of you out when it was needed, but still: things. just. aren't. working.
And you don't know what to do.
So, you schedule an individual session with your couples therapist, and ask for support.
"You can't take him on a journey when he isn't willing to be a passenger."
"I'm doing all the things! The books, we even took the Gottman Relationship Quiz, we're going on dates, I'm making an effort to initiate sex more. I am trying!"
"You can't force him to change. It won't work unless he really wants it."
"Then what do I do?"
"Instead of focusing on him, you figure out if you want to be in this marriage or not."
"I don't know how to do that."
"I don't know how to do that."
Of course you don't, and that’s okay.
Not because you haven't tried hard enough. You dragged him into that office. You read the books, planned the dates, and even initiated when your body was screaming not to.
You went all in, because going all in is just what you do.
And somewhere in all that trying, a story took root.
That a woman like you should have figured this out by now.
That needing something more than weekly therapy means you've failed at the thing you've been working so hard at. That your expectations are the problem. That you want too much. That you always have.
But you don't. You never did.
Here's what nobody said in that office: "figure out what you want" isn't something you can think your way into.
You've been downplaying your feelings for so long, the part of you that knows the answer got buried with them.
Every time you ask what you want, the old questions answer instead.
What is wrong with me? Why do I take it?
Those questions were installed. They aren't yours. And no amount of talking has been able to reach the place where they live, because that place isn't full of words.
There's no power drill for the bottom layer of your own psyche. Weekly fifty minute sessions, no matter how good, were never designed to go that far down. What you're carrying is older than this marriage. Older than him. Older than the version of you who learned to hold everything alone.
That's the work an EMDR intensive is made for.
You get to leave this office not so fucking angry
You are exhausted from being angry all the fucking time. Sometimes it feels like the only thing. And the straw that’s currently breaking your back? There’s no relief to the constant shame that you go through day in and day out.
Through my 13 years of experience helping women sort through complex emotions I've found that what is really underneath all that anger is the idea that you need to hide a part of yourself from the world, and even from your husband….because if you let him see the real you, it wouldn't be enough.
You wouldn't be enough.
This is what did that. The moments that taught you love is earned by managing everyone. That your feelings are too much. That if things go wrong, it's always your fault. That anger and shame are proof there's something wrong with you.
That’s a fucking lie.
When that material gets reprocessed, something very specific happens. Your body lets go of the anger it’s been carrying for more than a decade. And that sleep you are desperate for? Finally happens because your brain and your body finally stop fighting each other.
What this looks like
The question of what's wrong with you goes quiet, because it was never yours to begin with.
Your part in the dynamic comes into focus, without the shame that used to make it impossible to look at.
What you actually want stops being a mystery you interrogate at 3 AM and starts being something you can hear.
What this is not
More time in the anxiety loop, asking whether it's your fault, whether he'll ever really see you, whether there's more to this marriage than circling the drain. You've run that loop for years. It was never going to produce an answer, because the loop is the wound talking, and the wound only knows one story.
This work goes underneath the loop instead.
How the Intensive Works
Eight sessions. Two hours each.
Session one: Intake. Your history in your own words, the stuck points, what brought you here. We set goals together. This session is you deciding whether I'm safe as much as it's me learning your story.
Session two: Assessment. We go deeper. How you learned to attach, where your mind goes when things get to be too much, the questions your intake opened. This is where I learn what your system needs before we go anywhere near the hard material.
Session three: Resourcing. A full session, built from what the assessment showed, dedicated to one thing: your nervous system learning it can come back. We don't skip this. It’s important to the process.
Session four: Treatment planning and the beginning of reprocessing. We map the targets together, the specific memories and beliefs holding the pattern in place, and the work begins when you're ready. You control the pace the entire time.
Sessions five through seven: Reprocessing. This is the heart of the work. Three full sessions of going where the words don't reach, at a pace your system can tolerate, coming all the way back each time.
Session eight: Closure and integration. You leave with a custom workbook we've built across our eight weeks together, so what shifted has somewhere to live after we're done.
About me
Hi, I'm Sarah — a mother, introverted nerd, curious soul, lover of all things books, and entrepreneur.
I'm an LPC who works with women who have never felt like enough and spent their lives pretending things are great when their insides feel like a dumpster fire waiting to happen.
I know how lonely you feel inside your marriage, because at one point, that was me too. The exhaustion of a life you crave sitting just beyond your reach. The belief that if you intellectualize hard enough, manage everyone well enough, and shrink your own feelings small enough for their comfort, that will finally be enough to give you the life and relationship you want.
I know how you're cutting yourself off at the knees, despite the effort you put in day after day, week after week, year after year. I also know you've been listening to the same tape: I'm the problem, I'm too much, I'm not enough, I just need to fix it. And when I say the things I do, the feelings you'd rather ignore show up anyway.
When you work with me, you aren't just getting the therapist. You're getting the human being who's been where you are, and who knows, deep down, that you crave a partner who sees you and accepts you as you are.
A partner who doesn't message you from the store to ask "what kind of toothpaste do we buy? What aisle is it on?"
Who's Ready
You've done a lot of therapy already and you're not here because it failed. You're here because you can feel it hitting a ceiling.
You're done waiting for him to do his part.
You're willing to look at what's underneath the anger, even if that’s really uncomfortable.
Who Isn't Ready
You're hoping this will fix him, or fix the marriage.
You're in an acute crisis or your home isn't safe. That needs a different kind of support first, and I can help you find it.
You want the intensive because faster sounds like a way to skip the hard part. It isn't. It's the hard part, concentrated.
Investment
An eight week EMDR intensive is $4500, which includes all sixteen clinical hours with your custom workbook.
Paid in full is $4000.
Or a payment plan is available, with the first payment of $500 due the day of your consult to reserve your spot, then you will be charged 8 biweekly payments of $500.
We start with a free 20 minute consultation. A real conversation about whether this format fits your history and nervous system.
If it doesn’t work for you, I will have other recommendations.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How is this different from the therapy I've already done?
You have been trying so hard to fix everything. I know that. Couples therapy. Individual therapy. All the podcasts, all the books.
And you continue to hit a wall.
Here's why. Your anger doesn't live in your head. These emotions are held deeply in your body. In the way that your nostrils flare, in the nausea that lives in the pit of your stomach, or the way that you want to tear everything apart.
Traditional therapy tries to reach that with words. It can't. EMDR reaches where the anger actually is. That's what an intensive gives you the room to do. Once we clear what's been blocking the door, everything you've already done starts working the way it was supposed to.
2. $4,500 feels like a big investment.
This isn't really about the money. It's that you have never invested this amount of money in yourself.
Your children, yes. The couples therapy, yes. The books and maybe even couples retreats, no problem. But asking you to invest in something that you are doing alone, for your own well being, is fucking terrifying.
You're not asking whether $4,500 is a lot. You're asking whether you're worth $4,500. Those are different questions, and only one of them is the reason you haven't booked.
3. Why should I do all this work when he isn't doing any?
Because you're the one on this page.
He isn't reading a sales page at 2 AM trying to figure out how to make this stop. You are. Which tells you something, and I think you already know what it is.
This isn't fair, and I'm not going to pretend it is. What I can tell you is that the woman who does the work stops being the one who's stuck. Whatever she decides next about her marriage, about her life, about him, she's the one deciding. Not the anger. Not the shame. Not the story that's been running for longer than she can remember.
You've spent years waiting for him to do his half. What if you stopped waiting?
4. Do I have to talk about everything that happened?
No, that is not required.
EMDR doesn't require you to narrate your history in detail or relive it out loud. I need enough to know where we're going. Your brain does the rest internally, and there are things you may process completely without ever saying them to me. This is not going to be the space where you have to recount your story, detail by excruciating detail.
5. Do I need to stop seeing my current therapist?
No, you don't have to. We can do what is called adjunct therapy where the intensive sessions that you do with me are an additional support in your traditional therapy. Also, with a release of information, I can coordinate with your therapist so the work connects instead of running on parallel tracks.
When the eight weeks end, we can discuss next steps, as that might look different for each person. You could want to continue intensive sessions, or just go back to seeing your therapist you have been, and you will definitely leave with the workbook.
Now that we’ve done the hard part, let me walk you through your next steps so that you can finally know what to do!
Schedule a Consult
This is a big deal, I understand, but if you are seriously tired of running this gambit all on your own, let’s do this thing. Like, for real. Once I get notification that you’ve booked a consult call, I will send you an email with a link so we can meet virtually, with the questionnaire as well.Fill out the questionnaire
Answer these as best you can. The questions allow us to go deeper and explore your true goals for the intensive.Talk to Sarah
We will hop on the call and explore whether or not the intensive with me is the right format for you. If it’s not, I will make some recommendations, and we’ll go from there.
Change is possible. Quicker than you think.
Stop drowning in that sea of anger, especially when you don’t have to.
Oklahoma City Office
1390 S Douglas Blvd
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73130