When the Holidays Bring More Stress Than Joy: A Mom’s Guide to a Sick Household, Time Off, & How To Lean Into Self-Care
The holiday season is supposed to be joyful, but for many moms, it can bring stress, exhaustion, and a mental load that feels impossible to carry. Add sick kids, last-minute schedule changes, household emergencies, and the pressure to keep everything running at work, and the season can quickly feel overwhelming.
Last week, I decided to bite the bullet and get a new washer and dryer, simultaneously I got a sore throat from all the weather, and chose to cancel a couple of days’ worth of sessions. I felt that familiar knot of guilt in my chest, but I also had to remind myself that taking care of myself and not allowing the hustle to take over when I am not at my best really models what self-compassion can look like.
It’s not easy to step back, especially when you run a business and care deeply about your clients. For many moms, asking for help, rescheduling work, or prioritizing their own well-being can feel really challenging because of patterns learned in childhood or internalized expectations of perfection. Combine that with the added chaos of the holidays, and it’s no wonder that rest and self-care often feel impossible.
Understanding the Toll of the Holiday Season
When kids get sick or unexpected household challenges pop up, the exhaustion of it all can truly be overwhelming. Your nervous system may feel like it is in constant motion, juggling multiple priorities and keeping you alert. This is known as hypervigilance.
Many moms can also experience what’s called a freeze response, where the nervous system toggles between overdrive and shutdown. Think of yourself as a car (hopefully this isn’t a bad analogy!), and you have your feet on the gas and brake at the same time. Your body is pumped full of adrenaline, but you can’t go anywhere. You might feel exhausted and restless at the same time, unable to settle or rest, even when you have the chance. This is why rest can feel uncomfortable or even stressful.
Why Self-Care Isn’t Optional
Taking care of yourself, whether it’s resting when sick, delegating tasks, or pausing your work schedule, is not indulgent. It is essential. Rest allows your body and mind to recover and models healthy coping strategies for your children. By setting boundaries and honoring your limits, you show your kids what self-compassion looks like, even when life gets messy.
Running a business while caring for a family can also create financial pressure that amplifies stress. Decisions like hiring help, paying for childcare, or taking a day off to recover from illness can trigger guilt or anxiety. You might catch yourself thinking, “I can’t afford to slow down” or “If I pause, I will fall behind.” These thoughts are normal, but they keep your nervous system on high alert and make it harder to rest or ask for support. Recognizing this dynamic and planning for small ways to protect your time and energy, even within financial limits, is part of self-care, not indulgence.
Creating Safety in Your Body When Things Feel Overwhelming
If sitting down or taking a pause feels impossible, it is often because your nervous system is toggling between hyper-alertness and shutdown. You might want to rest, but your mind races or your body feels disconnected.
Here are a few ways to help your body feel safe enough to actually rest:
Start small. Even three deep breaths, stretching, or noticing your feet on the floor counts.
Use movement to transition. Gentle walking, stretching, or swaying can help your body shift out of high alert.
Offer reassurance to your body. Say to yourself, “I’m safe right now” or “It’s okay to slow down.”
Engage your senses. Warm drinks, cozy blankets, or calming music can help ground your body before true rest is possible.
Strategies for Managing Work and Home Demands
Prioritize tasks. Decide what truly needs to get done versus what can wait. Not every email, dinner, or chore requires immediate attention.
Ask for help. Delegate chores, enlist family support, or outsource tasks when possible. Even small contributions can lower the stress and overwhelm hanging over your head.
Micro-rest moments. Even a few minutes of journaling, a 20-minute nap, mindful breathing, or stretching counts as self-care. These mini-breaks reset your nervous system and improve focus.
Set boundaries with work and family. Clear expectations reduce guilt and help your nervous system settle. Let clients know your availability during the holidays, and communicate with family about your limits.
Plan ahead where possible. Meal prep, schedule shifts, or batch work in advance to reduce last-minute stress.
Managing Guilt and Pressure
Feeling guilty for taking care of yourself is common, but it does not have to control your decisions. Remind yourself that your well-being directly impacts your ability to show up fully for both your clients and your children. Being able to identify what you need, ask for help, and actually follow through is truly an act of self-compassion.
A Reminder for Moms This Season
Taking time to rest, asking for help, putting your own well-being first, and managing financial stress are not selfish. They are ways to stay grounded, even when work, family, and money pull you in every direction. When you care for yourself in real, messy, imperfect ways, you show your kids that it is okay to honor their own needs, creating a calmer, more connected household.
This season, it is okay to pause, to say no, and to take care of yourself. You do not have to do everything perfectly or carry it all alone. You deserve the space to breathe, reset, and be human.
