Feeling Drained? How to Recognize Burnout in Women and What to Do Next

Labor Day is meant to honor hard work. And yet for many women, it passed by without much of a break. Instead of resting, maybe you found yourself catching up on laundry, scrolling headlines that made your stomach tighten, or calculating how far your paycheck will stretch this month.

It’s about more than simply being tired. It’s about more than just a stressful season of life. At some point, you have to pause and ask yourself:

Am I exhausted or am I burned out? And how do I know if this is burnout or something deeper, like depression?

What Burnout Really Looks Like

Burnout is more than stress. Stress is like a sprint: you push hard, you recover, and you get back at it. Burnout is the marathon where your body and mind never get the sign that it’s time for a break.

Does any of this sound familiar?

☑️ Snapping at people over the smallest of things
☑️ Feeling detached, maybe like you are in survival mode, or going through the motions, without really being present in your own life
☑️ You’re exhausted, even if you’ve slept in or taken a weekend away
☑️ The brain fogginess is for real. The focus that used to be your superpower has somehow floated away, and the motivation is simply. not. there.

Burnout is not a personal failure. It’s your body and brain sending up a flare, saying, “I can’t keep carrying all of this like nothing’s wrong.”

Why Women Are Especially at Risk

Burnout builds layer by layer. A demanding job that expects more than you have to give. The pressure of finances in an unstable economy. The nonstop hum of political stress and the sense that the world is on fire. Relationship tension or feeling like you’re carrying the emotional weight at home along with the cultural script that says women should do it all with a smile.

Any one of these would be a lot. When they stack together, it’s an epic pile of stress and overwhelm. Unless you know how to cope with it, more on that later.

Burnout vs. Depression

This is where things can get a little more complicated because burnout and depression can look and feel a lot alike. Both can leave you feeling drained, disconnected, and questioning what the fuck is going on.

Burnout is often tied to a specific role or area of your life. Work. Caregiving. The constant stress of being on all the time. If you were able to step away from the stressor for a while, your symptoms would probably begin to ease.

Depression is more global. It shows up everywhere, regardless of what’s happening. Heaviness, hopelessness, and an overall sense of despair are more present.

Sometimes burnout and depression overlap. Burnout left unaddressed can become depression. Both matter. Both deserve compassion and care.

The Science of the Stress Cycle

One of the most enlightening ways I’ve heard burnout explained comes from Emily and Amelia Nagoski in their book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. They talk about how stress isn’t just in your head, it’s in your body.

When you face a stressor, your body kicks into survival mode. Fight. Flight. Freeze. It’s important to remember that just because the stressor ends doesn’t mean your body automatically resets. The stress cycle has to be completed.

If that doesn’t happen, the stress stays stuck in your system. Over time, those stuck stress responses pile up until you hit burnout.

Completing the Stress Cycle

So what does it mean to complete the cycle? It’s not about eliminating all stress from your life. It’s about giving your body the signal that you’ve survived the stress and it’s safe to come back to balance.

Movement is one of the most powerful ways to do this. A walk, a stretch, dancing around your kitchen—it doesn’t have to be a workout. Deep, intentional breathing helps too. So does genuine connection with someone who makes you feel safe. A long hug. A belly laugh. Even crying until the tears stop.

Creative outlets also help. Writing. Painting. Playing music. These are ways your body and mind process what stress leaves behind.

None of these are luxuries. They’re not extra. They’re the maintenance your nervous system needs.

The most important piece is paying attention to what your body needs in the moment. If you are feeling a lot of overwhelming anxiety, deep breathing or meditating may not help until after you’ve moved that energy out of you.

Why This Matters

So many women try to out-think their way out of burnout. They plan better. Push harder. Get more organized.

The reality is that burnout isn’t an efficiency problem. It’s a physiology problem. You can’t think your way out of a nervous system stuck in survival mode. You have to complete the cycle.

Even a few minutes a day makes a difference. Small signals of safety add up, helping your body believe that it doesn’t have to be on high alert all the time.

If You Recognize Yourself Here

Start by naming it. Saying “I’m burned out” is not weakness. It’s honesty.

Think about ways to complete the stress cycle and intentionally put them into your schedule. Ten minutes of movement. A conversation with someone you trust. Breathing deeply until you feel your shoulders drop.

Reach out for support. Whether that’s therapy, a friend who really gets it, or community, you weren’t meant to carry this alone.

And look at what needs to change long-term. Sometimes that means boundaries. Sometimes that means saying no, even if people don’t understand. Sometimes that means rethinking how you’ve been carrying everything by yourself.

Final Thoughts

Burnout doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’ve been human in an inhuman set of circumstances.

The good news is you don’t have to stay here. Recognizing the signs, completing your stress cycle, and allowing yourself real support can move you from survival mode back into a life that actually feels sustainable.

I want you to hear me when I say this: you were not meant to live on empty. You were meant to live a life that you actually enjoy.

Resources & References

World Health Organization. “Burn-out an ‘occupational phenomenon’: International Classification of Diseases.” (2019). WHO

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M.P. The Truth About Burnout: How Organizations Cause Personal Stress and What to Do About It. (Jossey-Bass, 1997)

Mayo Clinic Staff. “Job burnout: How to spot it and take action.” Mayo Clinic

Harvard Business Review. “Burnout Is About Your Workplace, Not Your People.” (2019). HBR

Nagoski, E., & Nagoski, A. Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. (Ballantine Books, 2019)

Are you feeling drained?

You don’t have to be alone in this. Let’s work together to help you reset, recharge, and reclaim your energy. I offer sessions in OKC and online across Oklahoma.