It’s Not Just in Your Head: A Trauma-Informed Take on Overthinking—and What to Do Instead

It usually starts small.
A thought that worms its way in.
An overall feeling of heaviness—you can’t explain it, it’s just there.

Your muscles feel tight, especially between your shoulder blades. Your breath gets shallow. There’s a quiet, creeping dread that settles into your stomach.

And then the spin begins.

“Did I do something wrong? Are they mad at me? Why is it always like this for me?”

You tell yourself to relax. To use your head. To stop thinking so much—but that doesn’t make it stop.
You can’t find the off switch. Your thoughts just keep going like the Energizer Bunny.

The truth is:

You. Are. Exhausted. And completely overwhelmed.

Honestly? It’s not just the thoughts.

It’s your nervous system.

You aren’t just dealing with a brain that won’t shut off.

You’re dealing with parts of yourself that are working overtime to protect you from pain.

Why Overthinking Isn’t Just Mental

That spiral of overthinking? It’s your body reacting to something—whether it’s internal (like a past memory or body cue) or external (like a text message or subtle tone shift)—that feels like a threat.

Even if your logical brain knows you’re okay, your system may not believe it.

This is where Polyvagal Theory comes in.
Think of it like a ladder:

• At the top, we’re in ventral vagal. You feel grounded, connected, and safe.

• If something feels off, your body drops into sympathetic (fight/flight). You may get anxious, restless, or stuck in a loop of worry.

• If the threat continues or you don’t get relief, your body may move into dorsal vagal (shutdown). You may feel numb, disconnected, or checked out.

You’re not lazy. You’re not “too much.”You’re having a completely normal, protective response to stress.

Why Logic Doesn’t Help When You’re Dysregulated

People love to say things like: “You’re still thinking about that?”

“Why are you making such a big deal out of it?”

“Just move on.”

That advice doesn’t land when you’re dysregulated.

When your nervous system is in fight, flight, or shutdown, you can’t think your way out of it.

Your prefrontal cortex (the logic and problem-solving part of your brain) goes offline.

Your survival system takes over—and its only job is to keep you safe.

That’s where shame often creeps in:

“Why am I like this?”
“Why can’t I stop?”
“What’s wrong with me?”

You know there are tools out there, and yet you can’t seem to reach for them in the moment—and that’s not failure.
That’s survival.

Parts Work + Nervous System Healing

The overthinking, the anxiety, the shutdown—this isn’t just one part of you reacting.
It’s your whole internal system, doing what it can to keep you safe.

According to Internal Family Systems (IFS), we all have parts:

• Some overthink.

• Some go numb.

• Some get critical.

• Some shut everything down.

They may seem like a problem, but they all share one thing in common: they want to protect you.

That part that replays every conversation? It’s trying to prevent rejection.
The numb, checked-out part? It’s trying to shield you from emotional pain.

These parts don’t show up because you’re broken.
They show up because, at some point, they helped you survive.

So instead of pushing them away, get curious:

• What is this part trying to protect you from?

• What is it afraid will happen if it doesn’t show up?

• How has it tried to help you in the past?

Listening with compassion helps your nervous system soften.

And when your system softens, you can climb the ladder toward regulation.

Regulation doesn’t start with control.

It starts with connection.

So… How Do I Regulate When I’m Stuck?

Start with what your body needs in order to feel safe.

You don’t need a perfect routine. You just need one moment—one signal to your body that it’s okay to exhale.

Here are a few nervous system-friendly ways to begin:

🌀 Orient to Your Space
Slowly turn your head side to side.
Let your eyes rest on something comforting or familiar.
Say: “I’m safe. I’m here. I’m real.”

🎵 Activate the Vagus Nerve
Hum, sing, or gargle. These help your body shift toward regulation.

🌡️ Use Temperature
Hold an ice cube. Run warm water over your hands.
Go outside and feel the air on your skin.

🤲 Ground Through Touch
Put your hand on your heart.
Feel your feet pressing into the floor.
Touch reminds your body you’re in the present.

🚶‍♀️ Move Your Body
Stretch. Rock. Sway. Walk.
Movement tells your system: We’re safe now.

🗣️ Talk to Your Parts
Thank them. Acknowledge their role.
Let them know you’re listening—and you’ve got this.

These may seem small, but they are powerful.
They help your system return to the present, where healing happens.

And remember:
Regulation doesn’t start with control.
It starts with connection.
And that begins with one small, gentle step.

Want to work together in a deeper way?

I offer therapy intensives and hourly sessions for individuals ready to step into healing at their own pace.

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

You’re already on your way.